Navigating Healing Conversations During the Holidays

The past few years have ushered in significant economic shifts, global unrest, and numerous personal transitions. As we approach the holiday season, the inclination for many is to seek relaxation, putting aside the turmoil that may have affected our lives. Yet, with family gatherings on the horizon, there's a chance we might encounter unwanted or challenging conversations that we'd rather avoid.

In my recent exploration during the creation of a docuseries pilot (more on that in another blog), delving into the intricacies of family dynamics across different generations, I stumbled upon a resounding call for healing. From the elders at the helm of our families to the youngest generation, the need for familial reconciliation is palpable. The stumbling block, however, seems to be less about a reluctance to engage in these conversations and more about a lack of tools to navigate them effectively.

Here are some insights to help navigate and address these potentially sensitive discussions:

1. Everyone Has a Story:

One participant in my docuseries expressed concern about how her family would perceive her after hearing her life story. What unfolded during our coaching sessions was a revelation - her family not only understood her better but also gained insight into the reasons behind her reactions. Embracing vulnerability and sharing our stories can foster understanding and connection.

2. Seeing the Humanity in Others:

Challenge yourself to view your parents or guardians as individuals with their own human experiences. It's common to attribute a certain level of knowledge to them because of their roles, but acknowledging their humanity can lead to a deeper understanding. Similarly, encourage older generations to see their younger family members as individuals with unique life experiences.

3. Avoid Assumptions:

We often make assumptions about each other, hindering open communication. Commit to approaching difficult conversations with an open mind. Let go of preconceived notions and actively listen to the other person's perspective.

4. Proactive Communication:

Instead of succumbing to anxiety, take the initiative to connect with your loved ones before the holidays. Arrange a coffee date or initiate a clearing call. Clearly state your intentions at the beginning of the conversation, share your experiences, and express your desire for a healing resolution. Don't forget to inquire about their perception and experiences as well. If healing is attainable, aim to conclude the conversation on a positive note, leaving behind any lingering fragments for a brighter future.

This holiday season, let's embrace the opportunity to heal rifts, foster understanding, and strengthen the bonds that make family an essential part of our lives.